Building Trust and a Rapport
Building trust
Building trust with the mentee:
- Share relevant experiences with your mentee from your past so that a pleasant and open relationship develops.
- Discuss and acknowledge the mentee’s strengths and achievements throughout the course of your relationship.
- Motivate the mentee to ask any question and assure him or her that there is no such thing as a silly question. Emphasizes! There is no such thing as stupid questions.
- Take time to learn culturally appropriate ways to accommodate the mentee in your meeting and further discussions.
- Use effective communication and active listening skills
- Consider how local farming activities and knowledge can be incorporated into the mentoring experience.
- Acknowledge the mentee’s existing knowledge, and share new relevant knowledge and experiences with the mentee.
- Where possible, broaden the mentee’s resources by introducing him or her to other experts from whom he or she can learn.
- Ask for and be open to giving and receiving feedback.
- Make sure you give honest, sincere and constructive feedback at all times.
- It is always beneficial to sometimes communicate with the mentee in a more informal manner so that non-work related things can also be discussed. This will allow you to get to know the mentee better in order to assist and guide them effectively.
- Maintain a policy of confidentiality, this encourages the mentee to be more open with their information.
Establishing rapport with mentees
- Building an effective harmonious relationship of mutual understanding and trust with the mentee is considered as one of the most important components of an effective mentor.
- Establish these relationships by using effective interpersonal communication skills, actively building trust and maintaining confidentiality.
- This relationship involves a sense of ease and comfort in communication, as well as a feeling of being understood and respected by the other person.
5 stages to focus on during the mentoring relationship
Developmental relationships go through five stages:
- Rapport building
- Setting direction
- Progress making
- Winding down
- Moving on
Developing a high degree of rapport is essential in ensuring the positive development of the mentoring relationship.
The 5 stages:
1. Rapport building stage
The mentor and mentee engage in dialogue to discuss how they are going to work together.
Report building depends on several factors:
- On a personal level, align your values to ensure good cooperation
- Ensure mutual respect
- Set an agreement on the purpose of the relationship
- Align the expectations about the roles, responsibilities and behaviours of both
2. Direction setting stage
Setting ground rules and goals:
- Set some ground rules to ensure a stable and workable relationship
- Working together to set short-term, medium-term, and long-term goals on what you want the mentee to achieve. The buy-in from the mentee’s side is very important to ensure that no misunderstandings occur
- Guide (Role of the mentor) the mentee to set their goals, objectives and action plans (Role of the mentee) with achievable milestones.
(A milestone for example was the day you have completed school)
3. Progression stage
Effective mentors will respond to the needs of mentees and help them to focus on the importance, progress and development of the set goals. Ensure that the experience is of such a nature that the mentee shows understanding of what is expected of him or her by allowing them to solve problems, make appropriate decisions and come up with solutions to the work assigned to them.
Focus on the following during your meetings:
- Establish a relaxed, yet professional and functional atmosphere
- Gain consensus on the course and purpose of the meeting and activities that follow
- Investigate matters from the mentees perspective
- Explain the situation, challenges, assumptions and stimulate analysis, while drawing on your own knowledge and experience
- Build the mentee’s self-esteem by using positive feedback and enhance their resilience and self-confidence
- Explore all possible options available to the mentee
- Outline and summarise the actions to which both parties agree
- Draw up a tentative outline of the agenda for the next meeting
It is during this period that the mentee shows progress. In this stage the mentee is confronted with learning aspects, general development and is also confronted with challenges that contribute to their growth and development. The mentor’s role during this period is to assist the mentee in obtaining resources, sharing information, experiences and insights as well as encouraging and supporting them to greater heights
4. Winding down stage.
It is now time for reflection on the progress of the mentee and how far he or she has come and also to reflect on the role of the mentor during this relationship. As the mentee meets their goals that was expected of them for the arranged period the mentor relationship naturally begins to wind down.
After reviewing and celebrating what has been achieved the formal relationship closes down.
Questions to consider after the winding down stage to help you in forming a new mentorship relation:
Open questions, forming a new relationship with goals and objectives:
Developed a positive rapport with a mentee:
- What were the positive signs of the relationship?
- What contributed in building a positive relationship?
- How can the knowledge gained be used in future mentoring relationships?
- How can you improve on future mentoring meeting?
- What steps can you take to increase the mentoring relationship?
- How can you recognise the learning that took place in the next mentoring relationship?
- What other questions would be useful to improve the mentoring process?
- 5 W’s = What – When – Where – Why – Who and How
5. Moving on stage.
It’s time for the mentor and mentee to move on or to reformulate their relationship and become friends, the formal journey is over.
They express their gratitude and celebrate their successes.
Confidentiality in mentorship
Confidentiality is the responsibility of both the mentor and the mentee to ensure that information discussed between the two must be treated with the utmost confidence. This is important for both’s protection and for building a relationship of trust. It provides a platform where both can openly and honestly share information with each other. The mentor and mentee must remain true to whatever agreement is made whether it is in written or not.
Here are some examples of confidential information:
- Contact details like the person’s cell number or that of their family members.
- Name, date of birth, age, sex, and address, etcetera.
- Personal information like banking information.
- Personal goals.
- Assessments records or reports.
- General information that was shared with you.
- Knowledge and experiences that was shared
- Personal issues like financial, legal, farming secrets
- Personal feedback during mentorship sessions
- Personal growth, progress, development and service records
Conflict handling
Addressing challenges and conflict in mentor – mentee relationships
Note: Please refer to the section in the course dealing with conflict
In summary
- Define Conflict
- Planning for and the 10 steps to follow during handling conflict
Definition for conflict:
Conflict is serious disagreement between the mentor and mentee that may lead to or has already turned into an argument. They are in a serious disagreement to which no solution or agreement has yet been reached.
Conflict can also be a struggle or clash of interests, opinions or even principles. Conflict can occur for various reasons such as personal, race, class, political and ignorance even with lies and infidelity.
Talk directly to the person you have the problem with and follow the 10 steps to overcome the conflict.
Do the necessary planning:
- Choose a suitable place and time
- Prepare the venue
- Think about the problem and visualise how you will handle the conflict
- Don’t play the blame or name game, work with what you know will lead to success!
Follow the 10 steps!
10 Steps:
- Speak to the parties concerned in private
- Tell both parties: –
- What you have observed
- Why you are concerned
- Explain to them the rules of the conflict resolution session in detail!
- Ask each of the members to describe the issues / conflict that divide them.
Very important: – They must not interrupt one another - Be impartial / neutral but fair
- Listen actively to each employee’s [members] statement / concerns and or problems
- Let each member repeat the others point of view, and let the other member acknowledges the accuracy of their statement
- Point out areas of similarity [Focus on common ground]
- Same interests
- Same goals and objectives
- Same results and how each member depends on the other.
Maintain the relationship and work to resolve the issue
- Ask each member to make suggestions to resolve the problem
[Brainstorm all options] Give positive feedback for their participation! - Develop a clear agreement together as partners, on the steps each will take to resolve the matter
(Focus on the needs, not positions) - Summarise the ACTION PLAN and set follow-up date