Each day we interact with others, whether it is in writing, in a face-to-face conversation or in an electronic discussion (online meeting, telephone, and so on). While we communicate, it is natural to respond. In the next few pages, we will be looking at some of the elements and role players of responses.
Audience, Purpose, and Context
Whether you are the speaker or part of the audience, it is wise to remember that everyone who is present and taking part in the communication has their frame of reference, collection of experience, agenda, emotions, perceptions, and so on, that influence how they view the interaction, feel about it, and ultimately respond.
Here are the contributing factors:
- Your communication skills: How well are you able to listen to others and how are you responding to others? If you do not practice good listening skills, you will not be able to take in what the other person is saying and will likely also miss valuable non-verbal elements that provide more information. As a result, you will then not respond optimally as you did not receive the entire message. Likewise, the other person’s communication skills will also impact the communication encounter. You might, for example, become aware that someone is not understanding what you are saying. This might be due to a lack of information, an inability to process the message, the timing might not be right, and so on.
- Your values and beliefs: What are yours and do they correspond or clash with what the other person is saying? If they do not match, you are likely to experience some discomfort or misalignment with what the other person is saying and listen and respond selectively to ensure that your values and beliefs are expressed.
- Your understanding and opinion of the current topic: Your perception and comprehension of a topic or subject will certainly cause you to respond in a certain way. Some people find it difficult to see someone else’s viewpoint or stance. This can create a situation of “deadlock” where there is no progress and neither party in the interaction shows growth and a willingness to make any compromises to resolve the matter or move the conversation.
- How you view the other person: This is a multi-faceted matter and could include many things like likeability, credibility, disapproval, infatuation, and so on. From the get-go, you will then either be predisposed to either view the message as positive (agree) or negative (disagree).
In any communication encounter it is imperative to remember that every person brings his, her, or their own set of expectations, experience, ideas, goals, skills, and so on, that are different from yours. These will all influence the interaction and the outcome. It is the responsibility of each participant to communicate the message to the best of their ability and to also ask for clarification to ensure that they understand the sender’s intent and purpose. Communication is only effective if the message that was received matches the message that the sender intended.
All of the above are present and also influence the:
- Audience: Consider who will be listening and/or watching the message. What is their knowledge level of the topic, whether they are already familiar with you, what their expectations are, what are their concentration spans, and so on? Should you be part of the audience, also be mindful of your response to the communicator. A good rule of thumb is always to “do unto others as you would like them to do with you” when you are an audience member.
- Context: This refers to where and under which circumstances the message is being delivered. Timing is also a parallel factor in context. Whether you deliver a speech or part of the audience, keep in mind that context not only determines how a message should be delivered but also how an audience member should respond.
- Purpose: Refers to the reason for the communication or interaction. Also, when responding, think about the intent and purpose of the response. Whether it is necessary, appropriate (content and time), applicable, and so on.
Feedback is important during the interaction as it will hold valuable clues as to whether the response is welcomed or not by the receiver or audience. Once again, feedback can be verbal or non-verbal and both communication types hold valuable clues as to how the message is received. Feedback can then be used to adapt the message and interaction so that the desired effects are achieved.
Each participant’s rights should be honoured during this process. Just as important as you think your point of view or opinion is, the other person(s) feels the same about theirs. It is important to remember that everyone will not always agree on everything. Instead, offer a safe space for sharing opposing views and ideas so that everyone feels heard and can represent their side. Ensure that you fully understand the other side’s viewpoint by asking for clarification respectfully. It is important to react in a way that shows that you are making logical assumptions and replying rationally.
When you need to reply with something which might be experienced as negative by the other person(s), how you convey the message is important. By adjusting your approach and response by choosing the appropriate tone and volume, you can still confidently get your message across, without alienating the other side or making them lose interest and shutting down. Guard against anything in your behaviour or message that could be deemed aggressive or unproductive to the process. Becoming too wrapped in smaller details or side issues should always be avoided as they take time and energy away from the main purpose of the interaction.
Role of and adaptation for audience, context, and purpose.
(Source: http://pointfirstwriting.com/edit-your-own-work/bigPicture.html)
Here are the typical types of responses and how to navigate and manage them:
- Agree or disagree: This form is not just the listener’s own opinion. He or she will likely disagree with some of the speaker’s points but agree with others. When this happens, the response will be a combination of agreement and disagreement. Whether they agree or disagree (or some combination of both) the respondent should support or prove their response with examples, facts, details, and evidence. The support or proof can take the form of personal experience, evidence from the primary text or source, or evidence from other sources. Often also best presented in a “sandwich” approach – positive, then negative, then positive. What is very important when dealing with evidence, is that only relevant information should be used to defend your position. When too many additional facts and ideas are implemented, it can make the main arguments become vague and the impact can easily be lost. The audience can only focus on so much content and you would like to stick to relevant facts within this timeframe when you are trying to influence and persuade.
- Analytic response: The respondent analyses the main elements of the text. These include the purpose, the audience, context, main ideas, argument, evidence, and style. These elements are analysed so that the following can be answered: How clear is the main idea? What sort of evidence is used to support the speaker’s body of claims? Is it credible and effective? Is the argument logically organised and easy to follow? How are elements such as the speaker’s style, tone, and voice working? This type of response looks at the essay or body of work or debate in terms of the effectiveness of specific elements and whether they are making the desired impact (persuade, inform, and so on) or not. Part of the listener’s response might include suggestions of how the speaker could have made the spoken text more effective so that the impact could have been heightened in the audience.
- Interpretive or reflective response: This happens when one focuses on one or two key ideas from the spoken text and then explains and/or explores it further. They also might reflect on their own experiences, attitudes, or observations about the ideas of the communicated text. The listener might use their response to consider how the speaker’s ideas might be interpreted by other listeners, how the ideas might be applied, or how they might be misunderstood.
Keep in mind that the aforementioned could also largely be applied to written text as well in different contexts that we are all involved in daily like at home, with classmates, colleagues, and so on.
Opposing Views
We have established that there will be disagreements in interpersonal communication – whether it happens between two people or in groups. The art lies in facilitating the differences between people’s views to ensure that they provide a constructive result in the discussion. Here follows a few pointers:
1. Play it cool.
Keep your voice at an even volume and do not raise it inappropriately. Refer to the concept of matching – where quickening and/or lowering of pace and volume of speech can lead to the same effect for the opponent. Remember that the substance of the argument is the determining factor – not overt loudness or any behaviour that can be seen as aggression.
2. Lure your opponent to your side of the fence.
Find common ground with your opponent and reveal such agreements. One such agreement creates space for further agreement from your opponent by lowering the resistance.
3. Laser focus.
Topic diversion is often used by opponents to try and derail arguments by shifting focus or blame. Correct the problem by getting discussions back on track and focused on the issue at hand.
4. Establish the basis.
Certain basic facts or “truths” should be established early on. If both parties do not agree on these, there can be no debate. Example: When debating whether wind or solar energies are most effective in combating the effects of conventional electricity shortages and breakdowns, both parties should agree (at the base) that some sort of plan needs to be made to improve the problem of electricity shortage.
5. Lead your opponent.
Remain humble and approachable. During this process, you not only win the respect of the audience but also manage to get to a position where your opponent will be willing to listen to counterarguments that support your view.
6. Remain a “good person”.
Keep to good behaviours and manners and ensure that you do not attack the other “person”, but their viewpoint. Often people who get too personal in their attacks end up losing.
7. Stick to the truth.
Only stick to facts that you can prove with evidence or research. Once you are deemed to be making up facts, you lose credibility and even other solid, well-founded facts will not be believable n the eyes of the audience or opposition.
8. Dig deeper.
When the opposition states facts, ask more questions that will expose the true nature of the fact. Oftentimes you will be able to unearth possible flaws and untruths. This is what often is seen in court cases, where “the devil is in the details”.
9. Use silence as a weapon.
Immediately after you made a strong argument, ensure that there is a pause. Your opponent will likely be tempted to fill the void and talk without giving too much thought. This often leads an opponent to reveal unwanted facts or chatter – which could be used against him or her.